I was having so many troubles with self-confidence. I was incredibly depressed and shied away from everyone. But with the luck that I had and the people who accepted me and how I was feeling, I was able to reconnect with myself.
Whoever you are, you're not alone. You have so many quirky, antisocial, wallflower, fabulous people waiting for you. And we'll carry you as far as you need.
Hello! I'm Riley! My birth name is Eva. I was born in American Fork, Utah, and raised Mormon all my childhood. We ended up leaving the church and moving to Las Vegas. There it was nice and peaceful where full on Oprah style it was like, "YOU'RE GAY, YOU'RE GAY, EVERYONE IS GAY!!" to Utah's, “What does gay mean?” We ended up moving back to Utah for my dad's job.
I had a really hard time moving back to Utah, considering when I came out I think I was 10 or 11. I originally came out as bisexual when I was still unsure, later as lesbian. That's when I started getting bullied. I was a 5’10” twelve year old with a stomach and a chest. I kept to myself and found a guy to crush on to convince people I was normal.
I soon figured out that I was not bi, and I was not lesbian - I was asexual. There it is! Figured it out! Being somewhat buried in gay culture, this didn't seem weird to me. I got fun nicknames.
That's kind of where it all turned wrong. I was having so many troubles with self confidence, and I flat-out told my school counselor I wanted to die. When I said I had a mental illness, no one seemed to believe me. I felt crazy, crazy in my own skin. I was incredibly depressed and shied away from everyone in fear that they hated me or thought I was annoying. I couldn't trust myself with relationships. But with the luck that I had and the people who accepted me and how I was feeling, I was able to reconnect with myself. I knew I wasn't crazy because I was surrounded by so many nutjobs who loved me.
But the moral of the story is, if you’re asexual, bisexual, pansexual, straight, lesbian, a horse or anything in between, you're not alone. You have so many quirky, antisocial, wallflower, fabulous people waiting for you on the other side of your path. And we'll carry you as far as you need. You're not crazy, you're not by yourself on this journey, and none of us have finished traveling the road to acceptance. So how about you come along with us, and we can laugh and cry and eat rainbow cookies together until maybe we can see the finish line.