MELLY
ALASKA | SERIES #3
Suicide. Mental illness. LGBTQ+ rights.
These are some of the most important things to me.
I’m still not really sure how it all happened, how I got so involved in the LGBTQ+ community. It could’ve been the fact that I was questioning my sexuality, or the fact that almost all my friends were in the LGBTQ+ community. All I know is that once I started, I never looked back and will never stop.
Hey! I’m Melly and I’m asexual. It wasn’t until my junior year of high school that I came out using the term asexual, because I was embarrassed! I found out about asexuality in ninth grade, but never used it due to fear of being laughed at and shamed. All my friends had crushes, dated a lot, and enjoyed talking about sexual things. I’ve only had 1.5 official crushes (it’s a long story just go with it) and dated here and there, but still felt a little uncomfortable and was never completely sure. That’s part of the reason why I had half of a crush and the long story behind it. I felt like I had to do it for my peers, friends, and teammates. I wanted to feel like I belonged.
By this time maybe you are reading this and wondering if I am aromantic. While yes, I am on the spectrum, I am such a huge hopeless romantic. I love everything that has to do with love, but the actual thought of dating and the mushy stuff itself is bleh, except for with this one guy.
I finally had the courage to come out, and to my surprise, it went well except for a couple of friends. I was really shocked, and I’ve met some beautiful aces since then.
On my journey of finding my term, I did endless research, watched videos, and learned as much as I could. In fact, I ended up doing so much research that my friends call me “The Human Dictionary of Sexuality and Gender” and ask me questions about labels and other things. Soon I even had classmates ask me current questions about their identity. I try to spread more awareness and teach people.
Another really important thing to me is mental health, specifically suicide awareness. If you didn’t know, Alaska has one of the highest rates of suicide among teens and young adults. I have a deep fear of losing someone to suicide, and seeing what my friends go through in the darkest nights makes my heart cry. I’m so heartbroken that suicide is linked with LGBTQ+ teens. I want to help change that, because no one should ever have to go through it.
Mental health has definitely taken a toll on my life. I’ve been on and off medication, have almost had to go to a behavioral hospital twice, was on 24-hour watch, and have weird things come and go like jumpiness and light sensitivity, and even a swallowing problem that makes it difficult to eat solid foods.
Just like LGBTQ+ education, there should be more education on mental health, because there is so much a mental illness can do to someone. I find it disgusting how some people ignore it and say they are pretending or whatever. There’s so much to learn that can help you or a friend, and maybe even make your relationships stronger and better. Education can do so much for a person, so go on and give it a try.
Here’s an uncommon statement: I’m Catholic, but my parents taught me to love everyone and not to judge. They wanted me to be kind to everyone, because we are all His kids and shouldn’t hate. Our world is filled with so much hate, but I believe we can change it! I’m trying my best to do that, and I know many other people are each day. Let’s bring love to the world.
For those who are struggling right now with finding a term, there are so many out there and I promise you there are others just like you. Do not feel like you have to put yourself in a box or label yourself. Do whatever makes you happy.
For those who are struggling with suicidal thoughts, I’m sorry you’re in a dark place. You may get sick and tired of hearing this, but I promise that things will get better. All I can ask of you right now is to take your time. Take your time in healing and do things that bring you peace. Do not rush, you are allowed to take all the time you need!
Stay Beautiful.
Stay Strong.
Stay You.
