NAVAHA
COLORADO | SERIES #3
My name is Navaha. I'm a 15-year-old, ninth grade student. I am pansexual and I'm trans nonbinary. For my entire life, I felt like there was something “wrong” with me, no label ever quite fit me. Straight, no. Girl, no. I knew I wasn’t like everyone else. I didn’t know any labels other than gay or straight so when I moved out of the extremely homophobic and transphobic south I found the internet. I was able to find me. I'm confused and surer of myself than ever. I'm confused about a lot of things, my gender, my friendships, my school, and my family. I am 100% sure that I am pansexual and Navaha no matter how things turn out. For a long time, I thought I needed a label. That I needed to look, act and be a certain way to claim that label. In the 8th grade I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and being LGBTQ+ made it worse. Not because I was mad about being gay, but because it added a new level of fear about coming out and being harassed. I'm not buff so being beaten up is one of my biggest fears. Once I came out, during pride month no less, I started going to an LGBTQ+ youth center in Denver called Rainbow Alley in September. Rainbow Alley is the first place I have ever been to that made me feel included, valid and happy. For most of my life I don’t remember being happy or okay, but as soon as I walk through that door, I feel utter happiness and acceptance every time. I feel nothing but absolute love for all of the people I have met and befriended. They are the people I want to spend every moment with. The best friends that will last a lifetime, I met at Rainbow Alley. The last 7 months that I have spent at Rainbow Alley have been the best 7 months of my life and I have never been so happy. I have been accepting challenging aspects of myself. I have been able to start working on my dysphoria and dysmorphia. For a long time I thought I had to explain and “prove” my identity to everyone, but now I know the only person I need to assure or “prove” my label to is me. I would say to everyone: Question yourself and experiment, kiss someone you like no matter how they identify or present themselves. As long as they’re cute and a good person let yourself like them. Try new things, use a different name, try new pronouns because you're going to end up only being surer of your gender, and follow your own rules, don’t listen to gender roles or stereotypes. Express yourself how you want.
