FIA
MINNESOTA | SERIES # 4
Hi, I am Tia. I am 17 years old, and am from Brainerd, Minnesota. Growing up in Brainerd, I said to myself, “Oh hey, there is more to life than boys.” I kept my thoughts pretty under wraps at the time, and the only people who knew were my best friend and my girlfriend. I didn’t tell anyone else about my curiosity until 2 years later, and even then, only told a select group of people. I had heard my family talk about gay stuff before, and they didn’t seem accepting; I didn’t feel like it was something that should ever be brought up. I still fear telling them to this day.
When my friends said wasn’t “gay enough” because I also like boys, I felt like they were trying to dictate who I am. “You’re not really a part of the LGBT community because you’re dating a guy,” I remember someone saying to me. Even after I told people I was queer, there was constant pressure from others to label myself as Bi or Pan. Honestly, I don’t even like saying that I’m queer, because I resent all labels. While I should be able to just be myself without having to express it, queer seems like the closest word that relates to my experience. That being said, if someone asked me to describe myself, I don’t ever see myself saying, “Oh I’m Fia, I like art and I’m queer!” Labels in general don’t feel true to me.
My advice is to never let people stick you in a box. No matter how many new words are invented for gender identity/ sexuality, you STILL might not fit. Not everything has a label, and it’s okay for you to just go with what feels natural. Some people enjoy having a name to describe themselves, and others don’t want one. Its okay if you are still trying to find a word to use, and it’s okay if you are not.
