OLIVIA
ARKANSAS | SERIES # 4
Hi, I’m Olivia, I’m 15 and live in Arkansas. As a kid, I was really shy. I didn’t talk to a lot of people, and I only had about two friends. My parents got divorced when I was three, so I don’t really remember anything from when they were together (it’s not that big of a deal to me). My mom was never too conservative, but her side of the family was. My father was always the kindest to me of my family, offering unconditional support in anything I do.
In elementary school and middle school I always had crushes on boys, which makes my story a little different from others. I think I first started to like girls in middle school. When I was in junior high, I came out as pansexal to my parents. At that point in time, I felt really comfortable with that label.
Later in life, I started to lose my interest in guys altogether. This made me question myself again. I came out (again) to my parents, but this time as a lesbian to my parents. My first coming out experience was pretty good. I kind of scoped out the area by asking them what they thought of the LGBTQ+ community beforehand. My mom reacted quite well for her conservative Christian background. She pretty much said OK and we continued on with our day. My father reacted well too, basically saying the same thing as my mom, with an additional, “You don't have to commit to a label yet.”
My second coming out experience was different than the first, which surprised me. I had already come out once so I was pretty sure I knew how this would go. I was wrong. I didn’t really “come out” to my mom the second time. She asked my if I was gay, and i wasn’t going to lie to her, so I said yeah. She didn’t react badly as much as she did differently. She didn’t really seem to understand, but we’re working on it. My father reacted the best, because after I told him, he gave me chocolate pie, and once again told me I don’t have to commit to anything yet. I guess the lesson here is a label that you may like now, may not really suit you in the future, and that’s OK.
There’s nothing wrong with you. If you have a similar story, the only advice I can give you is that it’s never going to feel like the “right time” to do anything. You just have to do it. because it’s true to you. If someone has a problem with that, that’s their problem. Not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone is going to support you. That’s okay.
I think it’s important for people like us to understand that we are not alone. We are understood, and we are loved. There is nothing wrong with you. We have fought long and hard for a time where we can be ourselves without fear. While the fight is far from over, we are making progress faster than ever before. People need to treat people like people. End of story.
— Liv (aka Olivia)
