KAB
TENNESSEE| SERIES # 4
Hi, my name is Kab, and I live in Memphis, Tennessee. I identify as a transgender male, and my pronouns are he/him. I came out a few months and have had a very positive experience. This is because my friends have been welcoming and very accepting. While they sometimes have a hard time adjusting to the new pronouns, they’ve been so nice, and are very open to learning. If it wasn’t for my friend group, my experience would be vastly different. My assumption is that deeper in the bowels, Southern Memphis people would have a problem with my identity.
I have not officially come out to my family yet. Project Contrast is actually the first time I've ever declared my trans identity to a bigger audience. The reason why I started coming to OUTMemphis was because I went through a depressive period and wasn’t feeling too great. I needed to figure out a way to start loving myself, and accepting myself. When I first stepped foot at the center, I was super nervous. I didn’t know who to talk to, or what to do. Everyone was so welcoming, and they hopped on the pronoun train; they didn't make me feel like I was wrong about my identity, and I felt total acceptance. I used to do a lot of the front desk stuff, which usually meant managing the phone line.When people called for information on their local resources, from shelter to medical needs, we would always provide recommendations. I also took part in OUTBid- a huge auction for OUTMemphis. From this I met a whole group of accepting people who were eager to help OUTMemphis grow.
As a transman, I utilized the center for many resources. One of their social groups, Delta, brings trans masculine people together; we talk about our lives and ask questions on various topics (from surgery to learning to look more masculine). Another program they run (that I am a facilitator of) is GenQ. We are a group for 18-25 year olds, and we get together to play games while discussing how to navigate life. From cooking, to property management, to random life hacks, I’ve learned a lot.
The center provided me a handbook that is very helpful. It lists various doctors for us. As a trans male, certain doctors can make me feel uncomfortable. The center has vetted the doctors they’ve included in the book, which makes me feel safer about doctor visits. The book is specific too- there's stuff about surgery, and I’m looking into a specific top surgeon they mention. There’s also information about homeless shelters. It's amazing, and super beneficial.
OUTMemphis is the only LGBT space that's focuses on helping us. Without it, my experience would be very different. I've made such good friendships that now exist outside of my time at the center. It's really cool to be able to have a space where someone can relate to you and understand you on that whole new level.
If I could talk to my younger self, I would talk about the importance of self love. Learn to love yourself. You are okay, exactly as you are.
Currently, I’m studying the music business. My goal is to open a concert venue in Memphis, Tennessee that is accessible to everyone. I’ve noticed that people often can’t go to events because their disabilities stop them. I want the venue to cater to the disabled- not just because it has a wheelchair ramp, but because it’s a full experience. My goal is to create a place that you feel safe at, regardless of social anxiety, blindness, hearing impairment, etc. People should experience music in their own way, whoever they are. My dream is to one day open this venue and work with OUTMemphis, to make sure everyone feels loved.
